I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
