he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize