Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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