He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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