So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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