Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize