Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
