Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
