Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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