im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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