xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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