The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
