my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
