I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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