Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Dicks are not precious.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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