Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
