Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
