Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize