If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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