In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
