my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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