I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
