the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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