Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
How does it feel to date your dad?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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