smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize
