Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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