hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
