no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
