Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
