Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
don't judge my taste in strippers
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
