Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
