So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
