found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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