hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
