I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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