if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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