Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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