I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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