So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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