Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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