I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
