last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
