physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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