I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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