that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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