I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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