He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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