he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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