i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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