Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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