why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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