Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
