Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
