Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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