As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he fucked my hip out of place.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I wear drunk well.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
