I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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