Please, let me fuck your mom
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Two words: nipple clamps
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