I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
