Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
