I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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