some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
everyone is single if you try hard enough
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
