my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
