So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
