I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
