id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
