How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
