do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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