Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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