Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
