So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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