Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
