he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
