I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
