Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
