The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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